we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
