I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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