We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
