hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
