Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
