I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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