I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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