hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
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