I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
