Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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