Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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