you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
