have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
