about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
