Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
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She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
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I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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