his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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