i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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