I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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