I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
