have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
