So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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