Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
