Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
