those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
