It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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