he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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