If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
