Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
