you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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