thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
