just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
