Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm just crazy horny about you
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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