She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
