If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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