Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
