Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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