I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
