I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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