Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
