How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Duck Duck Cougar?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
