to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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