when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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