addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
