I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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