just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
