in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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