Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
