If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
