i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
