I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
