lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
