I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
being pregnant is like rehab
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
