Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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