Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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