Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
