I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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