now i know why i became what i already was.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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