Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
